The Wrestler vs The Turtle: Round 1

In an effort to stem the tide of war between the RTA kitchen and bathroom cabinet toys, we reached an agreement with the toys to establish a fight club. This no-holds-barred ladder tournament will ultimately determine the winner between kitchen and bathroom cabinets. Feeling a little out of the loop? Read our original article detailing this ancient conflict.

The Contenders

The fight today should be a grueling one. Both combatants have proven themselves in the theatre of battle before and have something to prove. There’s even a rumor going around that Stone Cold once took Raphael’s mother out on a nice date then left her with the check. Stone Cold indeed.

Stone Cold preparing to show an amphibian the End Times

In the left corner we have famed wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin wearing his signature shirt and standing on physically unrealistic thin rubber legs. Stone Cold represents the kitchen cabinet toys.

Raphael, overconfident, prepares to battle without his signature weapons

And in the right corner, possibly green with envy and ready to flex his black belt, we have RrrrrrrrrrrrrrrAPHAEEEEEEL. Famed hothead of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Raphael is ready to defend his mother’s honor and get her reimbursed for dinner. Raphael is fighting for the bathroom cabinets.

Who will win? Check back in next week for the thrilling conclusion.